Dwarf pulling vacuum cleaner with his penis banned by Oxford University
Metro - It seems vertically challenged Demon Dan’s ability to drag a vacuum cleaner using only his genitals cuts no mustard with the dean of St Peter’s College. Neither does Gary Stretch’s talent for pulling a flap of his own neck skin over his mouth. Ball organisers had considered the pair from the Circus of Horrors touring company to perform at their £75-a-ticket bash on May 7. But college masters have censored the C’est La Revolution event. The decision angered Demon Dan, otherwise known as Daniel Blackner, who said: ‘I have a brilliant resumé after featuring as an Ewok in a Star Wars film and various Muppet movies as a flying teddy bear.’ Circus of Horrors has been touring for 15 years and warns that its Gothic-style horror shows are ‘not for sissies or those of a nervous disposition’. Its creator, known only as Doctor Haze, said: ‘It is ridiculous for the dean to try and decide what people should or should not see.’ A university spokesman said the Circus of Horrors was considered but deemed unsuitable for the ball.
Outrage! Protest! Censorship! Are you kiddin' me? Whatever happened to freedom of expression? Let Demon Dan perform! Seriously, how else is our little man gonna make a livin'? He's obviously got a special talent - let him show it off! Otherwise ol' Danny is gonna be relegated to dwarf tossing or dwarf bowling and that shit's just degrading. Free Demon Dan! Free Demon Dan!
