Professor Splash Sets New Guinness World Record

What are you going to do today, you lazy, no-account, fool? Need a little inspiration! Try to be a little more like Professor Splash here. In front of a bunch of geeks and nerds at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, all the old Professor did was jump into 11.8 inches of water from a platform 36 feet 1 inch up in the air. Now that's gettin' things done. Let's get rolling douche-bags - make a contribution to society already, will ya? Bang. Pay attention!

Who Knew Norwegians Were This Bat-Shit Crazy?

Ahh, there it is at the 1:27 mark. That explains everything. Now I completely understand and welcome this fine gentleman into the Speakeasy. Next round's on me! Pay attention!

The King Of Norway?

Wait for it, wait for it. Here comes the King at the :30 mark. Long live the King! I can't speak Norwegian, but is this guy yelling "Hi Mom?"