CHINA - ...Meet Wu. A simple Chinese farmer from Jiayu county of Hubei Province, Wu has spent more than half his life without anus. The condition, known as anal atresia, was conferred upon him at birth (most likely by a really angry deity). As a result, he has spent 55 years defecating through a tiny hole near his urethra called a stoma. To actually get the stool out, he had to squeeze it out...
Stop already! Enough with the dude with the blocked up dumpster. I guess I'm just posting this as a PSA or some sort of update or something. We all heard last week about the guy from China who lived for 55 years without an A-hole. Big whup, Mr. Wu finally gets his new balloon knot. Anyway, I guess I'm happy to report that his remaining years will be filled with toilet paper and reading magazines. Damn, he was so environmentally friendly before and now we're gonna have to kill a shitload (get it?) of more trees all because this dude needed to become a Pu-Pu Splatter. Well that does it, I'm havin' Thai for lunch. Or should that be untie? Poops, I mean, oops, I did it again....
