Cops Arrest 2 Whacked Out Spring Breakers On Miami Beach

Well it's not the ending to Bonnie & Clyde but it's still entertaining. Outstanding smackdown moves by our man in blue here on both the dude and the mermaid. And she's a hippie mermaid to boot! Flashin' the peace sign, trying to swim to Europe. Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

After 75 Arrests, I Guess It's Finally Time To Put This Guy Away For Awhile

NJ.com - Officials said a Newark man has been sentenced to 15 years for a $180 Kearny pharmacy robbery that led to his 75th arrest, as reported by The Jersey Journal. Eric Warren, 43, was convicted of the Jan. 20, 2010 robbery of the Rite-Aid Pharmacy on Kearny Avenue, during which he shoved $180 worth of deodorant down his pants, officials said. He has been committing theft-related crimes since 1988, officials said.

This guy is just asking to be put away. After being arrested 74 times it has to be impossible to get a job on the outside. So what do you do? You walk into Rite-Aid and start shoving deodorant down your pants until you get arrested. Relax, Eric, now you're gonna get three meals a day and know where you'll be living for the next fifteen years. Well done my friend - mission accomplished!

Man's Best Friend? Dog Gets Owner Busted For Pot

BEND, OR - The Sherman County Sheriff's Office said a man was arrested last Wednesday, after the driver's dog reveled hidden drugs. Reports said a sheriff's deputy pulled over the pickup truck, and as he approached the vehicle, saw something fly out the window. That turned out to be a sock stuffed with marijuana and hashish. The driver said he was trying to hide the sock after being pulled over, but his pit-bull mix grabbed it and would not let go. After a brief struggle, the dog won, and the sock flew out the window. The 32-year-old driver was arrested on drug possession charges.

Wow, you know you're having a bad day when Fido gets you busted for weed. Your dog turns on you and on top of that you lose your stash, too. It's a gloomy day in Oregon, my friends.

Chutes But No Ladders

MSNBC
Ah, shoot! Man ends up naked, stuck in trash chute escape
HONOLULU — Honolulu emergency crews rescued a naked man from a trash chute of a Waikiki apartment building early Thursday morning. The call to 911 was made just before 4 a.m. A man living on the seventh floor of 1717 Ala Wai Blvd. called police to report that his roommate, who he said had been drinking heavily, physically assaulted him and threatened him with a knife. When officers arrived, the suspect ran and jumped into the trash chute. He lost his shorts on the way down and was stopped by the trash that had piled up to the third floor, police said. That is where firefighters managed to pull him out. When asked how he ended up in the trash chute, the man said, "I went for one dive." The man refused medical treatment. Police arrested him...

How can you possibly say this man was naked? He had handcuffs! And oh, by the way, brah, most trash chutes lead to bad palces - like the trash!  Pay attention!

Dumb As A Bag Of Hammers

Quincy Herald-Whig
Woman wanted on federal drug charge falls through ceiling while trying to hide from police

A woman wanted on a federal drug charge tried to hide from police during a search of 1126 1/2 N. Sixth on Thursday, but she fell through the ceiling of an attic. Carlye R. Harrison, 19, was arrested on charges of possession of methamphetamine and unlawful production of methamphetamine/methamphetamine waste. She was lodged in the Adams County Jail. More arrests are pending. The U.S. Federal Fugitive Task Force and Adams County Sheriff's Department went to the address and were permitted inside. Deputies said a meth lab with finished product was found inside the residence, and numerous items used in meth manufacturing were found in trash bags inside the house. The Illinois State Police Methamphetamine Response Team was called to assist.

Dumb As A Bag Of Hammers

The Smoking Gun

"Honest Officer, Those Drugs Hidden In My Crotch Are Not Mine"

Jessi Clark was riding in the front passenger seat of a Cadillac Wednesday night when Florida cops pulled over the vehicle after spotting the 29-year-old without a seatbelt. As the driver spoke with cops, Clark allegedly “pulled out a piece of paper towel from her crotch” that had three Oxycodone pills and three Xanax tablets. Clark, pictured in the mug shot at right, then denied that the drugs she fished from the vicinity of her private parts were her property...She pointed the finger at the driver, alleging that he “told her to put it down her pants.” The driver denied Clark’s claim, stating “he has no idea what was down her pants.” Clark’s disavowal of the stash in her drawers was rejected by cops, who charged her with two felony drug possession counts. She is being held in the Manatee County jail in lieu of $2000 bond.

You know it - it's gotta be Florida!