The Idiots Are Heading To Tampa Bay

Report:  Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez Sign 1-Year Deals With The Tampa Bay Rays

How great is this?  I'm willing to put money on the fact that their combined IQ's are less than their combined ages.  And the real bonus is that we'll get to see this fart-show 9 times this year at Fenway Park.  What's the over/under on how many times Manny snatches a fly ball and fires the relay to Damon?  This is gonna be epic.  The Retard and Jesus - both washed up - it doesn't get any better than this!  Bang.  Pay attention!

P.S. Reports are that Damon's contract has an "attendance bonus."  Tampa Bay can't even sell out playoff games.  You better run out there naked, Johnny....

P.P.S. And oh, yeah, just because it's the Speakeasy, here's a totally unnecessary  picture of Damon's wife and her fantastic boobage:

Bahtendah Wisdom - It's A Great Day In The History Of American Television

Keith Olbermann And MSNBC Part Ways

First of all, let me say that the following commentary has absolutely nothing to do with Olbermann's political views.  Nothing.  I remember this dude since his days as a sports anchor in Boston.  He was AWFUL.  From the jump, he has been the most pompous, self-righteous, smarter-than-thou TV personality that I have ever seen.  I don't care if this cat is liberal, conservative or middle of the road.  His whole schtick has always been "I'm smarter than you, so you better pay attention to what I'm saying because you're in the company of genius."  It seems to me that he's built a career on intimidation through "bully intellectualism." (That's right - I just created a new term - pay attention!)  His IQ might be high, but he's dumb as a bag of hammers.

Here's the unvarnished truth:  He sucked as a sports anchor, he sucked as Dan Patrick's sidekick on ESPN radio, he sucked on NBC's "Football Night In America" and he sucked on MSNBC.  Total blowhard, total intellectual Nazi.  Good riddance, you pompous fuck.  Stay off my TV!

P.S.  There are already rumors that this douche could end up on CNN.  No, no, no!  Keep this dickwad off the air!  Again, for me it's not about politics, it's about being an enormously insufferable waste of time and space.  Bang.  Pay attention!

Have A great Weekend, Speakeasies!

Dumb As A Bag Of Hammers

Quincy Herald-Whig
Woman wanted on federal drug charge falls through ceiling while trying to hide from police

A woman wanted on a federal drug charge tried to hide from police during a search of 1126 1/2 N. Sixth on Thursday, but she fell through the ceiling of an attic. Carlye R. Harrison, 19, was arrested on charges of possession of methamphetamine and unlawful production of methamphetamine/methamphetamine waste. She was lodged in the Adams County Jail. More arrests are pending. The U.S. Federal Fugitive Task Force and Adams County Sheriff's Department went to the address and were permitted inside. Deputies said a meth lab with finished product was found inside the residence, and numerous items used in meth manufacturing were found in trash bags inside the house. The Illinois State Police Methamphetamine Response Team was called to assist.

See-Saw

Daily Dime #2

Afternoon Refreshment

First, we have to open it....



....Now, we can enjoy it!

Must. Have. This. Now.

Let's go, people.  Start clickin' on some of the ads on this blog so I can go out and buy this thing.  I'll be the baddest ass in Boston, just rippin' up and down the Expressway and Storrow Drive, scarin' people and blowin' by 'em like Bode Miller on steroids.  Woo-Freakin'-Hoo!

Snowed In

Who reads newspapers anymore?  Someone send me a picture of a snowman holding a Kindle!