Woman in hot water after trying to steal from Family Dollar
Fort Walton Beach, Fla. - A Fort Walton Beach woman must face a judge after getting caught on her $7.50 stealing spree, Northwest Florida Daily News reported. On December 7, an employee at a Family Dollar saw a 50-year-old unidentified woman stuffing dish detergent, dryer sheets, a hydrogen pen, baking soda and a women's thong panties in her purse. The woman tried to leave the store, but was stopped by management. She was arrested on February 3, and her court appearance is scheduled for March 1.
I'm starting to think this really is the Great Depression. Why the fuck else would anyone, ever, risk some time in the pokey for $7.50? Baking soda? A thong? You're 50 years old! You have got to be freakin' kiddin' me. And by the way, what the hell is a hydrogen pen? If it's the pen you used to sign your booking papers and then that shit disappears then I get it. Otherwise, you're just a bat-shit crazy douche bag. Go to jail, do not collect $200. Bye.
PS - Yup, it's Florida!
