Saturday, February 26, 2011

Voodoo Sex Causes Fire In NYC

Firefighters stand on the fire escape as winds whip the flames from a five-alarm fire in the Brooklyn borough of New York late Saturday Feb. 19, 2011. (AP / Paul Martinka)

Voodoo Ritual, Sex Sparked NYC Fire That Kills 1

NEW YORK- Fire marshals say candles ringed around a bed in a voodoo ceremony in New York City that included sex ignited linens and clothes, causing a fatal apartment fire. The blaze began around 6:40 p.m. local time Sunday when a woman visited a fourth-floor apartment in Brooklyn and paid a man $300 to perform a ceremony to bring her good luck. A city official says the man was known in the neighbourhood as a priest and the two were having sex when the fire started. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation was ongoing. Instead of calling 911, the man tried to put out the fire using water from a bathroom sink but the fire spread. A 64-year-old woman was found dead and 20 firefighters were injured.

This is why I believe voodoo just might be real. Every once in a while I get a pain somewhere in my body that just doesn't make sense. It's got to be voodoo, right? Now, I understand that lots of people think I'm a douche, but I totally believe that there are some haters out there who have special powers. They have a little statue of the Bahtendah, and they just stick pins in my balls and give me hernias I shouldn't have. It happens to everyone, right? Isn't there some way to get these people to use their powers for good instead of evil?  Bang. Pay the fuck attention!