REPUBLICAN AMERICAN - A Torrington man convicted on drug and burglary charges admitted Friday in Litchfield Superior Court that he fabricated evidence when he tried to use someone else's urine to pass a drug test. Lewis Mazzochi, 35, of 101 Funston Ave., used a strap-on phallic device equipped to release a stream of urine when he provided a urine sample to the Office of Adult Probation. Prosecutors said Friday Mazzochi pushed on the device to release urine contained in a bag around his waist, but the trickery was caught by a probation officer monitoring a mirror on the ceiling of the bathroom. The fabricating evidence charge prompted a violation of probation charge, which was combined with burglary and drug possession charges. For the combination of his offenses, under the terms of a plea agreement to avoid trial, Mazzochi will be sentenced to 10 years in prison when he returns to court May 10.
Here's what I'm thinkin': Great idea, less than perfect execution. The problem with this little scenario was that it was a pretty crude device. Prolly just a hollowed out dildo attached to a baggie. C'mon dude, let's step this shit up a notch. Here's the deal - we get some venture capitalist investment, make the device lifelike and computer-controlled and now we have a business model. I can see charging like $1000 for this puppy. Done correctly this new, first-rate, anatomically correct design would be something that could be used by shitloads of people. Common criminals, pro athletes, anyone on a job interview. I see serious potential here. Now all we need is an exit strategy....Pay attention!
