Paint-huffing husband hauled to jail
FORT WAYNE, Ind. - A Fort Wayne man was charged with inhaling toxic vapors for the 48th time after his wife called police and told them he was huffing paint in their apartment last Thursday. According to a Fort Wayne Police Department report, when an officer arrived at the 517 Lawton Place apartment, Elizabeth Gibson said she and her husband Kelly had been in an argument and he had gone upstairs to huff paint. The report said since she was afraid to go inside, she handed the officer her keys and followed him up. When the officer opened the door, the entire apartment smelled of paint fumes and Kelly was found sitting on the couch with his shirt off, and his hands, mouth, nose and chin covered in silver paint. Police said Kelly had a can of silver spray paint in his right hand and a paint-covered plastic bag in his left. The officer said Kelly had a dazed, glassy-eyed look about him and was unsteady on his feet. Kelly was taken to the Allen County Jail and charged with inhaling toxic vapors. This incident was the 48th time Kelly was charged with inhaling since 1992.
So how many times does this dude have to get caught huffing before we get ol' Kelly here onto "Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab?" 60? 80? This guy must shit Picasso's when he hits the head. He's in the paint more often than Shaquille O'Neal. And by the way, if this isn't a portrait of the artist as a happy man, then I don't know what is. I've never seen anyone more psyched to take their mug painting, er, I mean shot.
One last question - wonder if Kelly thinks he was "framed?" Sorry, couldn't resist....
