Monday, June 13, 2011

New York Man Marries Mannequin

Ned Nefer, 38, says he's married to a mannequin named Teagan.

New York man says he's married to a mannequin, takes his wooden wife on tour upstate

NEW YORK - Ned Nefer is a one-woman man - even if that woman is made entirely of wood. Nefer, 38, says he's married to a mannequin named Teagan, and the kooky couple is traveling 70 miles from Syracuse to Watertown on foot, the Watertown Daily Times reported. Or at least Nefer is walking. The Syracuse native is pushing his 6-foot wooden wife in a wheelchair across upstate New York. "This is definitely one of the oddest things I've come across, but he seems very happy," said Lisa Spear, principal social welfare examiner for the Jefferson County Department of Social Services. "I wouldn't classify him as dangerous at all," she told the newspaper after meeting with Nefer. "He seemed quite happy in his own little world." Nefer's relationship is one that's built on trust - and lumber. He told the Daily Times that Teagan was only a head when they first met. But he built her a wooden body and claims they were married on Oct. 31, 1986, in California. Nefer was taking the mannequin to Watertown's Children's Home, where he first laid eyes on her noggin. Nefer, in an interview with the paper, said he was toting 16 disposable cameras to document their long jaunt. "We both really love the outdoors," he said. "I hope it doesn't rain because when it does, it fogs up the camera and the pictures don't come out really good." A Facebook page dedicated to the "Syracuse Mannequin Man" has several hundred fans, with many writing about their Nefer sightings. "He just stopped past our house a little bit ago," said one poster. "I made him a PBJ and gave him some peanuts and cranberries. He told my husband his story."

Hey, call this guy crazy, but at least he's got a wife who doesn't nag.  Matter of fact, I bet she doesn't give him any shit at all.  So he's got a little wood for the the wood.  Big deal.  Keep lots of sealer around and this thing could last forever.  The real problem here is gonna be splinters.  Ned probably has 'em in places I don't even want to imagine.  But just think of the benefits.  Once his little tour of upstate New York is over, he can just hop onto wifey and ride her all the way home down the Hudson River.