No More Swallowing - She MUST Spit. Pay Attention!

MSNBC
Sperm: The 'gift' that keeps on giving
CHICAGO — An appeals court said a man can press a claim for emotional distress after learning a former lover had used his sperm to have a baby. But he can’t claim theft, the ruling said, because the sperm were hers to keep. The ruling Wednesday by the Illinois Appellate Court sends Dr. Richard O. Phillips’ distress case back to trial court. Phillips accuses Dr. Sharon Irons of a “calculated, profound personal betrayal” after their affair six years ago, saying she secretly kept semen after they had oral sex, then used it to get pregnant. He said he didn’t find out about the child for nearly two years, when Irons filed a paternity lawsuit. DNA tests confirmed Phillips was the father, the court papers state. Phillips was ordered to pay about $800 a month in child support, said Irons’ attorney, Enrico Mirabelli....

Fuckin' right he can press a claim. The whole point of "going oral" is that there's no threat of a kid comin' down the pike in nine months. But, really, how does this happen? He finishes, and what, she runs into the bathroom and somehow spits out his junk and pops it the vajajay real fast? That's premeditated! Game over! Foul! Penalty! Bang. Pay attention!

Man Goes In For Circumcision, Comes Out Without Penis. Wait, What?

This raises the age-old question: Would you rather live with cancer or without a penis? Tough one....


Now, here's a story about a guy who actually volunteered for the procedure (Yikes!).


NewsTime
Filipino Genius Cuts Off Penis To End Jibes

A man in the Filipino city of Cagayan de Oro City has surely earned himself an honourable mention in the 2011 Darwin Awards. While his actions did not lead to his death, not yet at least, he has certainly minimised his chances of successfully breeding with a willing female such that he could be safely considered removed from the human gene pool. Our bright spark, from the city of Cagayan de Oro City had put up with jibes over the size of his manhood for most of his life. Nothing new there certainly, as anyone who has enjoyed the friendship of other men would attest. But it was this genius’s remedy for the teasing that just takes the cake, the euphemistic equivalent of which he will find in scarce supply soon by the way. So fed up was he by the jibes that he decided the best way out was to take a bolo knife (a local type of machete) and remove the entire organ. One can just see this kind of “logic” at work. Penis too small leads to jokes about penis, therefore no penis will mean no jokes about penis, Ahh! Lightbulb moment! Presumably followed shortly by an excruciating scream, and at least an iota of common sense. The man was taken to hospital soon after his moment of genius and has been declared out danger. Doctors have warned though that they will not be able to restore what little manhood he had possessed before. A local shrink, Myrna Villanueva, has warned that the man will need to be monitored once he comes to fully realise what he has done. "Something is [now] missing, and the very important part that is missing speaks of masculinity, power and strength of a man... It's not normal”. No sh*t, is all we have to say here at Newstime.

Hey Brett - The Noose Is Gettin' Tighter

LATimesBlogs

Brett Favre sued by Christina Scavo, Shannon O'Toole for sexual harassment 

Brett Favre was hit with a sexual harassment lawsuit Monday from massage therapists Christina Scavo and Shannon O'Toole, just days after the conclusion of an NFL investigation into lewd text messages and explicit pictures allegedly sent to sideline reporter Jenn Sterger when she and Favre were both on the New York Jets payroll. The Minnesota Vikings quarterback on Sunday announced his retirement (again) from professional football, after not playing in the Vikings' game against the Detroit Lions. Scavo and O'Toole allege that while they were working for the Jets during training camp in 2008, Favre sent text messages to a fellow massage therapist, hinting at a threesome with Scavo and saying he was "lonely" and had "bad intentions." They also allege that a Jets coordinator told one of the women in October she and the others should keep their mouths shut, and that they would never work for the Jets again. The lawsuit was filed Monday in New York against Favre, the Jets and Lisa Ripi, the woman who coordinated massage therapists during training camp...