Professor Splash Sets New Guinness World Record

What are you going to do today, you lazy, no-account, fool? Need a little inspiration! Try to be a little more like Professor Splash here. In front of a bunch of geeks and nerds at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, all the old Professor did was jump into 11.8 inches of water from a platform 36 feet 1 inch up in the air. Now that's gettin' things done. Let's get rolling douche-bags - make a contribution to society already, will ya? Bang. Pay attention!