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| Laetitia Casta |
Friday, April 1, 2011
Here's The Hottest One-Armed Chick You'll Ever See
I could bang this chick with one hand tied behind my back. Aww, c'mon, it's just a joke. I'm actually a huge admirer. Her name is Bethany Hamilton and she's got balls the size of church bells. An accomplished surfer, she was attacked by a shark and lost her left arm when she was 13. Not only did she survive, but she's thrived. She returned to surfing almost immediately and has won numerous prestigious competitions. Now they've made a movie of her life, "Soul Surfer."
Rock on, kid. Drinks are on the house anytime here at the Speakeasy.
Who Would You Bang? SI Swimsuit Vintage Edition - Kathy Ireland Vs. Cheryl Tiegs
Must. Have. This. Now.
BPONG® Inflatable Beer Pong Table
Description
BPONG® Inflatable Floating Beer Pong Table. Inflated Dimensions: 6.5 feet x 35 inches x 4 inches
Summertime's comin'. Beaches, lakes, pools. This puppy is gonna be a must-have. I'm just throwin' it up here as a public service for all you Speakeasies. It's only $59.99 and you can buy it here:
The PERFECT Alcohol Shot For April Fools Day!
So I guess you tell the person you're going to make them this awesome new shot called the "Tsunami." And as you can see on the vid as soon as they start to drink it, you chuck a bucket of water in their puss and start screamin' "Tsunami!' Righteous. We'll be servin' up these puppies all night here at the Speakeasy. Well played.
She's Drunk. She's Naked. She's Got Drugs. She's Got Alcohol. What Else Could A Guy Possibly Want?
POLICE: Woman driving while naked
FLORIDA - An interesting traffic stop to say the least in Martin County. A deputy pulls this woman over for swerving and lo and behold, she's not wearing any clothes. Completely naked. When asked why she was naked, Charlene Johnson answered "I don't know," according to the Martin County Sheriff's Office. Johnson's in jail, tonight, sporting a jail outfit. The sheriff's office reports that while she had no clothes, she did had drugs and alcohol on her.
Lady Godiva is alive and well in Florida. But who knew she was a drunken drug addict? That's all I got...
Man Accused of Impersonating Cop for Naked Massage to Be Arraigned
MISSION VIEJO - A former Illinois cop accused of impersonating a police officer so as to perform a bogus inspection and ask for money and a massage at Lake Forest's Golden Spa parlor will be arraigned Friday, according to the District Attorney's office. Mission Viejo resident Edward Justin La Porte, 47, is accused of entering the parlor around noon Jan 31 and telling the manager there that he was a police officer investigating a complaint filed against the business, said Orange County Sheriff's Department spokesman Jim Amormino. La Porte opened up his jacket to show the manager a dark-colored pistol in his shoulder holster and a police badge in his waistband, Amormino said. The manager, believing La Porte to be a cop, allowed him to walk around the business, writing on a notepad on a metal clipboard, Amormino said. In the parlor's massage room, La Porte allegedly told the manager that he needed a massage because the gun holster hurt his back and shoulder. "When the manager told him she didn't do massages, he became very insistent," Amormino said. The manager summoned a masseuse who worked at the business. Amormino said that when the masseuse walked into the massage room, La Porte was on the table, naked. "After the massage on his shoulder and back was done, he rolled over and requested her to massage the front of him," Amormino said. "Obviously, she thought it was some type of sexual misconduct like masturbation or something. She said they don't do this kind of stuff and he should leave the building." La Porte then got dressed and told the manager that she owed him $200 for the inspection, Amormino said. When the manager said she didn't have the money on hand, La Porte said he would come back later to get it, Amormino said. The manager, suspicious of La Porte, then called the city of Lake Forest's building and licensing department to find out whether the business had actually been the subject of an inspection, Amormino said. The city sent an employee out to the parlor, and as the employee was pulling up in his car, La Porte was leaving, Amormino said. The city official asked La Porte what he had been doing, but La Porte became belligerent and said, "I don't have to tell you anything; I'm from the state,' " Amormino said. The masseuse followed La Porte's Toyota Camry to a Mission Viejo neighborhood and recorded a partial license plate number and reported it to police, Amormino said. Deputies identified La Porte and executed a search warrant at his home, where they confiscated a gun holster, a badge, some handcuffs and a metal clipboard with notepad, Amormino said...
This thing reads like a Tarrentino screenplay. He's a cop. Then he's not a cop. Then he pretends to be a cop again. Then he shakes down a massage parlour and tries to get a little sex and a little money. But the authorities get tipped off and he's on the run. Wow. Let's have Travolta play the cop and Uma Thurman be the massage chick. Action!
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