Monday, January 10, 2011

Dumb As A Bag Of Hammers
Burglar gives tequila back

MADISON, WIS. (AP) — Madison police are looking for a burglar who gave back a bottle of tequila after the homeowner hit him in the head. Madison police say a husband and wife, both 50, were sleeping when the women heard someone walking in their house at about 5:10 a.m. Friday Police spokesman Joel DeSpain tells The Capital Times she woke up her husband and he got a knife sharpener and yelled at the intruder. He says the man followed the burglar out of the house, grabbed him by the shoulder and hit him in the head with the sharpener. The burglar then handed over a bottle of tequila. Police say he did get away though with a cell phone.
You moron, you.  You gave back the wrong item!  You're not gonna be able to use that phone.  And in the hours while you wait for Madison's finest to throw your ass in the pokey you could've enjoyed the sweet nectar of the blue agave.  Hit up the local Cumby's, pilfer a glass, some salt and a lime and enjoy your time on the lam!  Bang.  Pay the fuck attention!