Thursday, June 16, 2011

Assault With A Deadly Pancake - Wait, What?

 Residence: BONITA SPRINGS, FL 34135 
 Age: 21
 Occupation: SERVER
 Case #: Not yet available

NAPLES NEWS - Punches aren’t the only thing a Bonita Springs woman is accused of throwing early Monday morning. Deputies say she also threw pancakes at men in a McDonald's parking lot. Mariel G. Goodrich, 21, of the 8800 block of Colonnades Court, was arrested Monday by Collier deputies at the 700 block of Vanderbilt Beach Road. According to a Collier County Sheriff’s Office report: While a few unidentified men were purchasing food from a McDonald's drive-through around 5 a.m., they began a conversation with Goodrich and her friend who were sitting in a gray Honda Ridgeline truck. Goodrich then threw her pancakes out the car window toward them and extended her middle finger in their direction. One of the men got out of the vehicle and approached her with his camera phone recording. He began to make jokes in reference to her throwing the pancakes -- saying the girls needed a lawyer to make some money because the pancakes were so bad they had to throw them out. Goodrich then exited the car and began attacking the man, striking him in the face. She then retreated to the car and attempted to drive away but the man began to yell out the tag number of the truck to his friends. Goodrich then came back for a second time, striking him in the face once again. The girls claimed that the fight started because the men offered them money for oral sex, but they were not aware that the incident was recorded on the man’s camera phone. Goodrich was arrested on a battery charge.

It's stuff like this that gives bat-shit crazy chicks a bad name - and I'm not even talkin' about the pancakes.  It's the whole BJ defense.  Like this chick just figured she'd play the blowjob card and be free as a bird within ten minutes.  "Officer, these dudes wanted oral sex and I was just defending myself."  Sorry honey, but you forgot the whole scene was bein' recorded.  Now you can enjoy gettin' fingerblasted by some prison dyke who's twice your size and strong as a bull.  I wonder if the food in the graybar hotel is worse than the pancakes....