Pittsburgh Pirates Catcher Chris Snyder Forced To Watch As Wife Is Attacked

WTAE - A man riding a scooter is accused of attacking the wife of a Pittsburgh Pirates player. According to a criminal complaint, Subhash Modhwadia, 44, of Scott Township, followed the wife of Pittsburgh Pirates catcher Chris Snyder into a BP gas station on Banksville Road in Banksville after he said the two almost collided. Police said Modhwadianot then not only attacked Carla Snyder, but also the Good Samaritan who tried to help and a police officer. "He's kicking the doors, kicking the mirrors. And I'm like, 'Is this really happening?'" said Joe Changle, the first person who stopped to help. Police said Modhwadia threw the scooter in front of her car, started kicking it and yelling, "You almost hit me." When she got out of the vehicle, he broke off her driver's side mirror and started swinging at her, police said in the criminal complaint. "She wasn't really crying, but she was scared, which is understandable. She yelled for help, I just came," said the 22-year-old Changle. "He swung at me a couple of times. I told him, 'Don't do it again, or I'm going to put you down.' And he came over again. I just tripped him up, put him on the ground and held him down." While Changle tried to subdue the suspect, police said Modhwadia bit him in the arm. An off-duty Pittsburgh police officer happened to be driving by and stepped in to help and that's when, police said, Modhwadia began throwing punches with a key between his fingers. The criminal complaint says Modhwadia then took off his shoe and threw it at the officer. "He took off his shoe and threw it. Another guy came over and said he was an off-duty cop. He picked him up threw him in the weeds. The (suspect) came back up again. Then the police came and he took his shoe off and threw it at the cop and hit the cop with his shoe," said witness Chuck Crooks. During the entire incident, the Snyder family's two children were in the back seat of the car. Chris Snyder was able to get out of the car, but because of recent back surgery, related to an injury suffered during a recent game, he couldn't move to help his wife, witnesses said. A witness told Channel 4 Action News' Amber Nicotra it was Chris Snyder's first day out of his home since the surgery...

Wow, how much does it suck to be Chris Snyder?  You just had back surgery to start with and now you have to stand by as your wife is assaulted.  Strike one, strike two.  But you know what's worse?  You play for the Pittsburgh Pirates!  Quite possibly the worst franchise in the history of Major League Baseball.  Sorry Chris, three strikes and you're out.

Assault With A Deadly Pancake - Wait, What?

NAPLES NEWS - Punches aren’t the only thing a Bonita Springs woman is accused of throwing early Monday morning. Deputies say she also threw pancakes at men in a McDonald's parking lot. Mariel G. Goodrich, 21, of the 8800 block of Colonnades Court, was arrested Monday by Collier deputies at the 700 block of Vanderbilt Beach Road. According to a Collier County Sheriff’s Office report: While a few unidentified men were purchasing food from a McDonald's drive-through around 5 a.m., they began a conversation with Goodrich and her friend who were sitting in a gray Honda Ridgeline truck. Goodrich then threw her pancakes out the car window toward them and extended her middle finger in their direction. One of the men got out of the vehicle and approached her with his camera phone recording. He began to make jokes in reference to her throwing the pancakes -- saying the girls needed a lawyer to make some money because the pancakes were so bad they had to throw them out. Goodrich then exited the car and began attacking the man, striking him in the face. She then retreated to the car and attempted to drive away but the man began to yell out the tag number of the truck to his friends. Goodrich then came back for a second time, striking him in the face once again. The girls claimed that the fight started because the men offered them money for oral sex, but they were not aware that the incident was recorded on the man’s camera phone. Goodrich was arrested on a battery charge.

It's stuff like this that gives bat-shit crazy chicks a bad name - and I'm not even talkin' about the pancakes.  It's the whole BJ defense.  Like this chick just figured she'd play the blowjob card and be free as a bird within ten minutes.  "Officer, these dudes wanted oral sex and I was just defending myself."  Sorry honey, but you forgot the whole scene was bein' recorded.  Now you can enjoy gettin' fingerblasted by some prison dyke who's twice your size and strong as a bull.  I wonder if the food in the graybar hotel is worse than the pancakes....

Take "Magic Mushrooms" - Learn To Fly!

Police: Naked man on mushrooms 'flies' down stairs, assaults authorities

THE MORNING CALL - A naked man on a bad hallucinogenic trip is accused of assaulting a police officer and an emergency medical worker who had come to help Sunday after he threw himself down the stairs of a home in Palmer Township. "It started as a medical call," said Palmer detective Sgt. Timothy Ruoff. "It went bad from there." Garrison L. Goodman, 31, of Upper Nazareth Township had taken "magic mushrooms" at 1202 Dunkle St. when he attempted to "dive or fly" down the steps from the second to the first floor, Ruoff said. Brian Flavelle of Suburban Emergency Medical Services arrived about 1:25 a.m. to assist Goodman, who was suffering from a cut to his head and broken collarbone, Ruoff said. Goodman was naked in the front yard and attacked Flavelle, Ruoff said, punching him several times in the head. When Wilson policeman Marc Crisafulli also arrived, he was punched a number of times in the head by Goodman as well, Ruoff said. The melee ended when Crisafulli shocked Goodman with a Taser and arrested him, Ruoff said. Goodman was treated for his injuries at Easton Hospital, then arraigned by District Judge David Tidd and sent to Northampton County Prison under $50,000 bail. Goodman faces charges that include aggravated assault, simple assault, reckless endangerment and possession of a controlled substance. Flavelle and Crisafulli had head and neck pain, but were not seriously injured, Ruoff said.

I'll have what he's having. Except for the part about assaulting dudes and getting tasered of course. Otherwise, not so bad, I've always wanted to fly.

YouTube Strip Club Bouncer Gonna Get His Own Ass Beat Now

We had this video of a Worcester strip joint bouncer shaking down a customer a few weeks ago. Here's the original clip:



Apparently the the camera dude and the bouncer were on the outs so the camera dude posted the video on YouTube. Well, now the chickens have come home to roost:



So the lesson here kiddies is be careful when shaking down someone in a strip club bathroom. And be careful not to have someone filming it. And if someone does film it, make sure that you stay friends with him. And if you have an argument, make sure you get the video back or get it destroyed. Or maybe, try not to be as dumb as a bag of hammers. Pay attention!

Police: Strip Club Bouncer Assaults, Robs Customer

MyFoxBoston - Police say a nightclub bouncer hit and then robbed a customer inside of the bathroom at that club. 35-year-old Easton Byfield was arrested on Friday. Police received tips pointing to a YouTube clip of Byfield punching a 25-year-old man at the Platinum Premier Club in Worcester. According to Worcester police:
"The video did show two males in a bathroom questioning another male who appeared to be a patron of the club. One of the employees is filming the incident while the other employee is questioning the patron. During the questioning, the male, without warning, punched the victim in the face; he then continued to punch him approximately three more times in the face and head area. At one point in the assault the employee takes cash out of the victim's wallet and kept it. The employee also locked the bathroom door while the assault was taking place preventing the victim's escape. After reviewing the video and obtaining the suspect information, detectives were able to track down the victim of the incident. The victim is a 25 year old Worcester resident."
The incident allegedly happened in May of 2010. Byfield originally said he was assaulted by the victim. He now faces charges of Assault and Battery, Kidnapping, Unarmed Robbery and Filing a False Police report.


What's this world coming to?  You just wanna relax, have a couple of beers, watch some naked chicks dance, maybe get a quick lap-dance and now you have to bow down to the bounce in the bathroom?  This type of thing will never happen here at the Speakeasy!

Can't Grab A QB? Grab A Boobie!

Waitress accuses Haynesworth of sex assault
TheExaminer - A waitress at posh downtown D.C. hotel is claiming that she was sexually asaulted by football player Albert Haynesworth. Haynesworth's agent Chad Speck told The Washington Examiner in a statement: "There seems to be no truth to these allegations and we are currently evaluating the facts and considering our own legal actions against those involved." The incident is alleged to have happened on Saturday night, just hours after Haynesworth reported to the Fairfax County police to face assault charges in a road rage incident. A D.C. police spokeswoman Tisha Gant said police are investigating a sexual assault at the W Hotel in Washington, 515 15th Street NW, but there have been no arrests or charges so she could not release the name of the accused. She said she didn't have any information about the time or where in the assault is alleged to have occured.

Haynesworth allegedly grabbeda waitress' breast while he was payimg his bill.  In related news, the Redskins are offering Haynesworth a raise for the simple fact that he grabbed something. Plus, just hours earlier he showed some aggressiveness with his little road rage incident.  Looks like Albert's gettin' the fire back!  He's gonna have a monster year in 2011!  Just sacking QB's and destroying running backs!  Look out!  He's back and he's bad!  Wait, can you be locked out and locked up at the same time?  Hmmm....

WTF?

GreenBayPressGazette.com

2 Wisconsin men accused of sex assault with snake
EAU CLAIRE — Two men from the Eau Claire area are accused of sexually assaulting a woman with a live snake. John Bullock, 24, of Altoona, and Domonta Jones, 25, of Eau Claire, pleaded not guilty to the assault Monday in Eau Claire County Circuit Court. Each man is charged with first-degree sexual assault. According to a criminal complaint, the woman told police she was knocked out in the bedroom of Jones’ home on Nov. 11. When she regained consciousness, Jones was holding her while Bullock assaulted her. She said Jones then got his snake and used it to assault her. Bullock said the sexual contact was consensual. The men are jailed on $30,000 cash, the Eau Claire Leader-Telegram reported.