First Official Workout For Pitchers And Catchers In Fort Myers Today

Hey, Theo, check out this dude! Hell, you signed that Australian softball player and I think you signed just about every available reliever you could find during the offseason. What's one more?  It's not your money - John Henry has more bucks than I have DNA molecules.  Here's my contribution to the Red Sox scouting department for this year. Dude has serious heat, a plus breaking ball, excellent command, strong work ethic and flat-out competes. Sign him up!

Bat-shit Crazy Chick Gettin' All Schizo

This is a tough one to figure. On one hand, you start thinkin' this chick would be an absolute rager in the sack. Just full of intensity and gettin' all over it. But then on the other hand, you start thinkin' I wonder if she'd just bite my friggin' dick right off and spit it in my face. Hmmm.....