Watch This "Baller" Drink His Way Through The Tower Of Power

Fastest way I've seen to get whiskey dick in quite some time. Innovative, too.  Only problem is this douche bag looks like the captain of the math team.  Trust me - he ain't no baller.

Sledrinking!

Metro.co.uk

Pub table sledging hits the slopes 

The event was dreamed up when the sozzled scholars put their minds to work after finding themselves trapped in a cabin high up an Austrian mountain. To get out of their sticky spot they had the bright idea of flipping over a table and using it as a makeshift sledge.When they got to the bottom they promptly flipped the table over and continued drinking. Now scores of teams comprised of athletes and local celebrities have assembled to take part in a three day table-sledging event in Kuhtai, in the Alps, starting on Friday. One of the competitor’s said: ‘The great advantage we have over other sledgers is that when we finish the race we can turn over our equipment and have a great party’....

First of all, they better not have taken those tables from the Speakeasy.  Sven the bouncer will not be happy.  Secondly, what the fuck is "sledging?"  It's sledding, you shiteballs!  That said, I fully applaud your inventiveness and creativity.  Any sport that mixes beer, sledding, snow and pub furniture is pure gold.  I say we call it "Sledrinking."  Olympics!  I wanna see this shit in Sochi in 2014!  

 

I Wanna Hang With Kimmo

So I guess this is real.  Kimmo Wilska, a Finnish news anchor was fired for getting caught drinking on camera.  All I gotta say is, Kimmo, you're welcome here in the Speakeasy anyday and all day.  How do you think I find this shit to post?  Sober?  Think again, jackwagon.  Everybody needs a little inspiration in the workplace now and then - sometimes it just happens to come from a bottle.  Ever watch Mad Men?  Everyone has a bottle of hooch in their desk drawer.  That's what made America great and that's what should be making Finland great today.  Hey Finnish boss dude - lighten the fuck up!  Ol' Kimmo was just fuelin' his performance.  You know what?  Fire the director who cut back to Kimmo too fast.  Fuck you, ya shiteball.  There's your culprit right there.  There's your dickswab.  Pay attention, good citizens of Finland.  Bring back Kimmo!  Fire the director!  Long live Kimmo!