Got Milk?

Helsinki Times
Finnish nipple-sucking doctor gets the sack
A doctor who sucked a young woman patient's nipple during a breast examination has been sacked, commercial broadcaster Channel Four Finland (Nelonen) reported Monday. Earlier this month the Supreme Court fined the man 4,800 euros. A district court had dismissed malpractice and sexual abuse charges, with the Rovaniemi appeals court upholding the lower court's ruling last year.


Supposedly the doctor's defense was that he was using some old mid-wives diagnostic test.  Nice try, doc.  Breaking news bulletin - you're not a mid-wife!  Bang.  Pay attention!

I Wanna Hang With Kimmo

So I guess this is real.  Kimmo Wilska, a Finnish news anchor was fired for getting caught drinking on camera.  All I gotta say is, Kimmo, you're welcome here in the Speakeasy anyday and all day.  How do you think I find this shit to post?  Sober?  Think again, jackwagon.  Everybody needs a little inspiration in the workplace now and then - sometimes it just happens to come from a bottle.  Ever watch Mad Men?  Everyone has a bottle of hooch in their desk drawer.  That's what made America great and that's what should be making Finland great today.  Hey Finnish boss dude - lighten the fuck up!  Ol' Kimmo was just fuelin' his performance.  You know what?  Fire the director who cut back to Kimmo too fast.  Fuck you, ya shiteball.  There's your culprit right there.  There's your dickswab.  Pay attention, good citizens of Finland.  Bring back Kimmo!  Fire the director!  Long live Kimmo!