Mother And Daughter Both Get DUI's - An Hour Apart!

IDAHO - Idaho authorities say a mother and daughter were arrested for drunken driving within an hour of each other -- the mother when she went to pick up her daughter's dog. The Post Register reports a sheriff's officer stopped 28-year-old Alisha Gardner at 10:56 p.m. Saturday in Idaho Falls after spotting her car swerving and crossing the centerline. Sgt. Jeff Edwards says her blood-alcohol level was twice the legal limit, so Gardner was taken to jail. Just under an hour later, 51-year-old Diana Gardner arrived to pick up her daughter's dog, which was in the car. An officer smelled alcohol on her and a test revealed that her blood-alcohol level was also twice the legal limit, so she was arrested. The report did not say what happened to the dog.

Nice family.  But let's face it, they live in Idaho.  I've been to Idaho.  Idaho would make me drink like a fish all day every day too.  So here's the solution - sober up for a couple of days in the drunk tank, pack up your stuff and get the hell out of Idaho.  And please, don't forget the dog.  Pay attention!

Man Busted For DUI Twice - IN ONE DAY!

LaFayette, NY - A Connecticut man was charged with driving while intoxicated by state police twice in about 10 hours Monday. Troopers first came in contact with John Simister, 51, of 38 Linda Drive, Milford, Conn., at 12:17 p.m. Monday when he was stopped on Interstate 81 in Tully, troopers said. Simister, who troopers said was doing 80 mph on the highway, was found to have a blood-alcohol content of 0.19. Troopers ticketed Simister and he was released to a sober third party, troopers said. At 10:20 p.m., an off-duty trooper spotted a man drinking alcohol inside a vehicle at the Nice and Easy convenience store in LaFayette. Troopers checked the area, saw the suspect vehicle and attempted to pull it over. The vehicle led troopers on a short pursuit that ended when the it pulled into a driveway on Newell Hill Road in LaFayette, troopers said. Troopers said Simister was again behind the wheel. Simister was arrested again and he was found to have a BAC of 0.17. The legal threshold to DWI is a BAC of 0.08. He was charged with failure to comply, consuming alcohol in a vehicle, failure to keep right and DWI. Simister was arraigned in LaFayette Town Court and ordered held at the Onondaga County Justice Center.

Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.  What the fuck were you thinking?  Or better yet, were you thinking?  I can see screwin' up once behind the wheel.  It's happened to some of the best people I know.  But it's either epic stupidity or balls the size of churchbells to decide to hop in the chariot again and just flaunt that shit in front of the troopers.  If there's one thing I know about cops, it's that they don't like gettin' shown up.  Not cool.  Looks like you'll be walkin' to the convenience store for a while.  By the way, nice neck....

Actress/Model Estella Warren Booked For DUI, Rampage

USA TODAY - How much trouble can you find in a Toyota Prius? A lot, apparently, if you're actress Estella Warren. Warren, the former Victoria's Secret model who starred in the Planet of the Apes remake, was being held today on suspicion of felony drunken driving for allegedly crashing her Toyota Prius into at least one parked car, the Los Angeles Times is reporting. TMZ.com says it was several cars. As if that wasn't bad enough, she is also alleged to have struck an officer before trying to flee a Los Angeles police station, the Times says. Her bail was set at $100,000, or about four times more than the price of your average Prius. Frankly, we think of Prius drivers as a responsible lot. If you're going to go on a rampage, try something a little more alpha-male, like a Porsche or a Chevy Suburban. Just goes to show that it's not the car, it's the driver.

Say it ain't so, Joe.   No way.   Someone must've roofied Estella.  I just can't believe it.   This is one of my all-time favorite hot chicks. Look at those lips!  Look at those cans!  Canadian swimming star as a youth, Victoria's Secret model as an adult.  Dimepiece personified.  I'm sending the bail money, honey.  Daddy's comin'!!!

Rick Springfield Busted For DUI

It's pretty much what we expected, right?  Your career's in the crapper, this is always the next move.  Sometimes I think these celebs are so desperate to get their name out there in any way, shape or form that they actually try to get arrested.  Nice try Ricky, we'll see if it works (but it won't).

Miguel Cabrera Looks Really Happy In His Mugshot While Being Booked For DUI

I've seen a lot of mugshots here at the Speakeasy, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone look quite as happy as the Tigers first baseman.  How shitty must he have been?  Reports are that when the cops rolled up on him, his car was smoking, Miguel was drinking from a bottle of James Buchanan's Scotch Whisky and he pulled the pathetic "Do you know who I am?' line.

Yeah Miguel, cops just love that.  Take a little drinky-poo right in front of them and try to big-time your way through the situation.  This is the same guy that once was busted with a .26 blood alcohol level, got bailed out at 7:30AM and then went 0-4 leaving six runners on base that night against the White Sox.  And oh, by the way, he's slated to make an average of $19 million a year through 2015.  Think the Tigers are feeling good about that investment right now?  Keep smiling, Miguel!

PS - As blended Scotch goes, this stuff ain't bad.  The 18-year old won first place at the 2009 San Francisco World Spirits Competition.  I hope Miguel wasn't drinking the 12-year old - it's just not as good.   

Jaime Pressly Arrested For DUI

She’s normally very put together, but Jaime Pressly's recent mugshot shows a different side of her. After being arrested last night (January 5) for suspicion of driving under the influence, the “My Name is Earl” actress looked none to happy about her detainment. The 33-year-old was driving in Santa Monica at about 11pm when she was pulled over by a police officer after she allegedly committed a traffic violation...

Looking good, homegirl....

Can You Use A Goat To Get High?

MercuryNews.com

Three men arrested after a crying goat is found tied in car trunk

It started off as a traffic stop. And it ended with three men being booked on charges of being cruel to a thirsty, hogtied goat. Morgan Hill special operations Cmdr. Joe Sampson said the charges -- which also included driving under the influence and possession of methamphetamine -- stem from a Christmas Eve bust on Monterey Road near San Pedro Avenue. Sampson said officers on Friday spotted a car swerving, and pulled it over. They found that the driver didn't have a license, and they smelled alcohol inside the car, police said. Not only did the officer find three open beer cans, as well as plastic bags filled with what he suspected was crystal methamphetamine, but he also heard crying, or rather, bleating, coming from inside the car trunk. "Lo and behold, there's a goat tied up in there," Sampson said. "We think they were going to eat it." Police called animal control officers, who found the goat severely dehydrated. "They gave it some water and it drank a gallon," Sampson said. The driver, Ciro Paredes, 40, of Morgan Hill, was arrested on charges of not having a driver's license, DUI and animal cruelty. Passengers Julio Perez, 27, and Ricardo Melgar, 19, were also arrested for animal cruelty, and Perez was arrested for possession of a controlled substance. All three men were booked into Santa Clara County Jail.

Let me get this straight:

Drunk driving.  No license.  Booze in the car.  Bag of meth.  And the goat gets the headline?  Are you shittin' me?