Hugh Hefner's Lovemaking Prowess - 2 Seconds Of Ecstasy

Sex with Hugh Hefner lasted for 2 seconds: Crystal Harris

TIMES OF INDIA - Hugh Hefner's runaway bride is spilling the beans on why she ditched the Playboy mogul five days before their marriage. During an American radio show, Crystal Harris revealed about his prowess in the bed, claiming he never turned her on. She also claimed that sex with the 85-year-old lasted 'like two seconds' and was ultimately unsatisfying. "Then I was just over it. I was like, 'Ahhh.' I was over it. I just like, walked away. I'm not turned on by Hef, sorry," the Daily Telegraph quoted her as telling on the 'Howard Stern Show'. She also revealed they had only been intimate once, reports the Daily Mail. "He doesn't really take off his clothes. I've never seen Hef naked," she told the show. Hefner later responded on his official Twitter account, writing: "Crystal did a crazy interview with Howard Stern today that didn't have much to do with reality. Is she trying to impress a new boyfriend?" He also added that he felt sorry for his ex-fiancee because she "seems lost". Harris and Hefner announced their engagement in December 2010 but later called off their marriage just days before the ceremony was scheduled after Harris experienced a "change of heart".

You da man, Hef!  Who cares if you're an old fart and she's a smokin' hot young babe - you get yours as fast as you can and walk away.  You're Hugh Fucking Hefner.  You don't even need to take your clothes off.  You're Hugh Hefner.  You've been bangin' Playmates since Playmates were invented.  You're Hugh Hefner.  You wanna go for 2 seconds, you go for 2 seconds.  You're Hugh Hefner.  You want 3 Playmates in bed, you get 3 Playmates in bed.  Hugh Hefner does what Hugh Hefner wants.  He's Hugh Hefner.

Leave Hef Alone!

Daily Mail
Playboy mansion? More like a squalid prison: Former Playmates tell of 'grubby' world inside Hugh Hefner's empire
...The portrait of Hefner painted by Izabella St James is deeply unappealing. A pretty blonde law graduate, she was 26 when she met him in a Hollywood nightclub in 2002. Soon, he invited her to move in with him and seven other official ‘girlfriends.’ Hefner likes to have anywhere between three and 15 girlfriends at any one time. One of the group will be chosen to be Girlfriend No 1. She will share Hefner’s bedroom at all times, while the others are merely visitors. For Izabella, the Playboy Mansion was far from the glamorous pleasure palace she had imagined. ‘Each ­bedroom had mismatched, random pieces of furniture,’ she recalls in her autobiography Bunny Tales. ‘It was as if someone had gone to a charity shop and bought the basics for each room.Although we all did our best to decorate our rooms and make them homely, the mattresses on our beds were ­disgusting — old, worn and stained. The sheets were past their best, too.' But St James — with big university debts — was more interested in the weekly pocket money which Hefner paid all his girlfriends. ‘Every Friday morning we had to go to Hef’s room, wait while he picked up all the dog poo off the carpet — and then ask for our allowance: a thousand dollars counted out in crisp hundred-dollar bills from a safe in one of his bookcases,’ she says. 

‘We all hated this process. Hef would always use the occasion to bring up anything he wasn’t happy about in the relationship. Most of the complaints were about the lack of harmony among the girlfriends — or your lack of sexual participation in the “parties” he held in his bedroom...‘I wanted to see if this experienced King of Sexdom knew anything the rest of us did not,’ she recalls. ‘But he just lay there like a dead fish.'

Sour grapes, sister.  You got famous, you got boobs, you got your college paid for and this is how you pay back the man?  So he's old and there's dog poop in the mansion - you knew what you were getting into.  Stayed for awhile too, didn't ya?

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