Friday, February 18, 2011

Naked Sausage Thief Caught On Video

Nude sausage thief caught on surveillance video
The Examiner - A retirement community in Florida was surprised when their community kitchen was burglarized last month. They were even more surprised when they looked at the surveillance tape and saw a naked man stealing sausage, napkins and a First Aid kit, according to the Naples Daily News. Lee County Sherriff’s were able to use the surveillance video to apprehend the sausage stealing suspect, 34-year-old Joshua Abernathy. The Mariner’s Cove adult housing community in the city of Estero, near Fort Myers, has around 230 mobile and manufactured homes. Residents of the community did not recognize Abernathy and believe he may be a transient who got in through a locked door. Abernathy was charged with burglary and petty theft from the January 7th incident. The video was released yesterday by the Lee County Sheriff’s office.

Must.  Have.  Sausage.  Well of course you must, Joshua.  I feel for you, bro.  Your a transient, you got no clothes, you're a little hungry and some Jimmy Dean's would hit the spot, wouldn't they?  In the good old days before surveillance cameras you would've gotten away with it, too.  Now because of all this damn technology you got your naked self splashed all over every computer in the world.  Life sucks, then you die.  Tough break, Joshua.