Thursday, July 14, 2011

Dirk Nowitzki's New Girlfriend Jessica Olsson Vs. His Old Girlfriend Crystal Taylor

Crystal Taylor

It seems that big Dirk has had an interesting go of things on the girlfriend front.  His previous squeeze Crystal Taylor (aka Crista Ann Taylor) spent time in jail on a parole violation.  There was also some weirdness about her claiming to be pregnant with Dirk's kid.  Anyway, on the one hand she looks to be a total horse face, plus she's 37 years old. On the other hand she has that "do-anything-you-want-to-me-in-bed" look.  But Dirk's a freakin' multi-millionaire world champion who should be bangin' world class poontang, not washed up jailbirds bein' lesbianized in prison.  Now here's a look at The Big German's current matress mate:

Jessica Olsson

Meet Jessica Olsson, a Euro-chick who looked absolutely smokin' on last night's ESPYS.  A couple of observations:  First of all, total upgrade over the last over-the-hill slutpiece.  Second of all, credit to Dirk for bein' his own person and not embracing the old Nazi vision of creating the perfect Aryan race.  I think it's pretty clear that he'd go for the dark meat at Thanksgiving and that tells me that he's a man with his own independent mind.  Hey Dirk - nice comeback on and off the court.  Add to that that you emasculated LeBron, so the first round here at the Speakeasy is on me.  Beck's for everyone!  Everybody drink!