Dude Explains Why He Got A Huge Dirk Nowitzki Tattoo On His Ass

DALLAS - Derek Dilday is a really big Mavs fan. He recently got the above tattoo. Here he is talking about why:
The inspiration came from being a huge Dirk fan, obviously. Knowing how much Dirk wanted this championship and the struggles he has been through with this team for the past 13 years made me want this championship for him more than I've wanted any other sports championship. Once they got to the Finals, especially against the Miami Heat, I may have got a little too excited and posted on Facebook that I would get Dirk's face tatted on my ass if they won it all. I got quite a few comments back from friends, so I knew that if they did win it all I would kind of have to do it. When Dirk lifted the Larry O'Brien and the MVP trophy it was the greatest sports moment of my life. I sports-cried, called a high school friend that does tattoos and have been on a Dallas Mavericks championship high ever since. Now I realize that I will be sitting on a big German man's face for the rest of my life.


So Derek Dildo here is a big Dirk fan, huh?  Why do I have the suspicion that this is not the first "big German's face" that he's ever sat on?  If you have to do something, get a Mavs tattoo son and be done with it.  Not a man's face.  Not on your ass.  That's just wrong.  Pay attention!

Dirk Nowitzki's New Girlfriend Jessica Olsson Vs. His Old Girlfriend Crystal Taylor

Crystal Taylor

It seems that big Dirk has had an interesting go of things on the girlfriend front.  His previous squeeze Crystal Taylor (aka Crista Ann Taylor) spent time in jail on a parole violation.  There was also some weirdness about her claiming to be pregnant with Dirk's kid.  Anyway, on the one hand she looks to be a total horse face, plus she's 37 years old. On the other hand she has that "do-anything-you-want-to-me-in-bed" look.  But Dirk's a freakin' multi-millionaire world champion who should be bangin' world class poontang, not washed up jailbirds bein' lesbianized in prison.  Now here's a look at The Big German's current matress mate:

Jessica Olsson

Meet Jessica Olsson, a Euro-chick who looked absolutely smokin' on last night's ESPYS.  A couple of observations:  First of all, total upgrade over the last over-the-hill slutpiece.  Second of all, credit to Dirk for bein' his own person and not embracing the old Nazi vision of creating the perfect Aryan race.  I think it's pretty clear that he'd go for the dark meat at Thanksgiving and that tells me that he's a man with his own independent mind.  Hey Dirk - nice comeback on and off the court.  Add to that that you emasculated LeBron, so the first round here at the Speakeasy is on me.  Beck's for everyone!  Everybody drink!