Can Masturbating Really Hard Cause You To Burst Into Flames?

Man ‘Engulfed In Flames’ At San Francisco Porn Shop

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A man was hospitalized Wednesday evening with life-threatening, third-degree burns after catching fire inside a San Francisco porn store, authorities told CBS 5. The fire occurred at an adult arcade at Sixth and Mission streets just after 6 p.m. Police officers across the street from the porn shop saw a man run out the front door of the store “engulfed in flames,” an SFPD spokesman said. Some firefighters who happened to be about a block away at the time were immediately summoned and extinguished the flames. Arson investigators said it was not exactly clear how the man caught fire. Police indicated he had apparently been watching videos in a private booth when the fire ignited.

Okay, so we all know about how spankin' the monkey can make ya go blind. Maybe cause blisters. Maybe give ya a little tendonitis in your dominant arm. But is it possible to generate enough friction that you could actually spontaneously combust? This is gettin' serious. Be warned, America.

Here's the video:

Naked Man Caught Masturbating In Manure - For The Second Time!

Slurry pervert back in court after returning to farm to sexually gratify himself

ENGLAND - A man convicted of sexually gratifying himself in manure has been caught doing it again – by a child. David Truscott, 41, of Pengegon Parc, Camborne, was discovered on Saturday by the youngster at Woodbury House Farm, Redruth. When police officers arrived soon after, they found Truscott naked and covered in a large amount of slurry and mud, in a quagmire, surrounded by tissues. Earlier this week magistrates in Truro referred Truscott’s case to the city’s Crown Court for sentencing after he pleaded guilty to breaching a restraining order and to causing harassment to Clive Roth, who lives on the farm. Jill Wilson, prosecuting, said the restraining order had been made in 2009 prohibiting Truscott from entering the farm for any reason. She said: “There is a history of his visiting this particular farm seeking sexual gratification while immersed in cow dung and mud. “This is the only place he seeks to gratify himself in this particular manner. It goes back seven years.” She added the Roth family had to regularly check their livestock, outbuildings and equipment. Truscott had committed a sex act in a muck spreader and set fire to outbuildings, killing livestock, in frustration when they cleaned out their farm equipment to prevent his activity. On Saturday, a son of the family had become aware a man had been seen climbing over a gate to the property. The child came across Truscott naked in a field among cow dung and mud. Truscott was jailed for 20 weeks in November 2009 for breaching the restraining order. It had only been imposed in September of that year. He was remanded in custody and the case was sent to Crown Court for March 23.

This guy's got some serious determination, huh? He wants to jerk off in shit and no one's gonna stop him. Matter of fact, if you try to stop him he starts burnin' shit down! Throw him in the pokey, let the other prisoners poop in his cell all day and maybe he'll be a happy camper. If not, tough shit. ;-)

"Hungary" For Pleasure

Pestiside
Mild Weekend Weather Leads to Man's Mid-Night Motor Vehicle Masturbation Session


A man was arrested by police after he was discovered nakedly masturbating in his car in Kaposvár. The man was noticed by a sixteen year old girl on her way home from a party, who said that because the lights were on inside the vehicle, she could see the man pleasuring himself. Police arrested the guy after the girl borrowed a phone from passersby to give them a ring.

First of all, turn the fucking lights OFF, bro.  Now, I have no idea what this Pestiside site is all about except that it has lots of news from Hungary. But here's the question: What does the "warm weather" have to do with tossing one off in the car? Like, if it's colder, do Hungarians move this action to the bowling alley? Keep me the fuck out of Hungary. Oh, and one final thought:  dude was working the stick shift while the car was an automatic. Bang. Pay attention!

Chuck E. Cheese, Where The E Stands For Expose

WAFB
Man allegedly caught masturbating in Chuck E. Cheese's
COLUMBUS, GA (WTVM) - A 21-year-old man is facing child molestation charges in Columbus, accused of exposing himself inside a children's restaurant. Kenneth McGhee was arrested Monday afternoon at the Chuck E. Cheese's on Macon Road. A mother tells police McGhee came and sat down at the end of her table. She noticed he had his hands between his legs but tells police she thought he was texting on his cell phone. When she went to move her purse closer to her, she says she noticed that McGhee was masturbating with his penis fully exposed. According to police reports, Chuck E. Cheese's was packed with children and families at the time and witnesses say McGhee was looking around at the kids as he was pleasuring himself. The mother grabbed her kids and called for help and McGhee took off running. Police say he ran across Macon Road and hid in a Fashion Trends store. The manager of the Chuck E. Cheese's chased after McGhee and waited outside of the store until officers got there. McGhee was found in the back and was arrested without incident. He is being held in the Muscogee County Jail and is charged with child molestation and false information because officers say he lied about when he was born, saying he was 16. Reports indicate he has outstanding warrants for violation of probation.