The Best "Naked Man" Story You'll Read Today!

Naked man presents Victoria cops with philosophical dilemma

VANCOUVER,CANADA - Existentialism 101: What do you do with a naked man? Well, Victoria police officers — understandably — wanted to know why a naked man on Monday was walking the city streets — except for a few moments when a woman placed a towel around him. But when asked why he was naked, the man instead questioned officers as to why they were walking around in clothes. "Point taken," the officers write on the Victoria Police blog. "Unable to reconcile this philosophical paradox, the officers conveyed the man to hospital for a mental-health assessment.

Maybe the best police report I've ever read. But why send this dude for a mental health assessment? All you philosophy majors out there know that this is a perfectly legitimate question. Why indeed do we walk around in clothes? I get it when it's cold outside, but what about those perfect 75-degree days? Huh? There are lots of places in the world where it's okay to drop trou and parade around in your birthday suit. What if this guy just felt way too hot and uncomfortable by wearing clothes? Should we force him to wear them? Isn't that cruel? Free this political prisoner immediately! (Unless of course he's really gross looking. Nobody wants to see that shit.)

How Come This Never Happens In My Neighborhood?

Drivers stunned as woman strips to her spectacles and goes for naked early morning stroll through city centre
MailOnline" - A woman alarmed parents by stripping naked in a town centre and running past two schools during the morning rush hour. The 25-year-old removed her clothes outside a guitar shop and sprinted down the road wearing just a pair of glasses and carrying her handbag. Angry motorists on the school run honked their horn as the brunette startled children at 8.30am. Lollipopman Chick Fowler offered her his coat and a cup of coffee to protect her modesty and keep her warm. But the woman, who was in a distressed state, said 'No' and was soon detained by police in Southsea, Hampshire. Mr Fowler, who patrols outside Craneswater Junior School, said: 'She took her clothes off, which frightened one of the little boys. 'She was walking along and saying she wanted the police. I offered to take my coat off and for her to come down to the school but she said "No".' Builder Ricki Wake, 45, said: 'I was on my way to work on when I saw this woman leisurely strolling along with nothing but glasses and a handbag. 'She was getting a lot of angry looks and cars were tooting their horns. There were a lot of mothers on the school run saying things and they were pulling their kids' heads away so they didn't see her. 'She was heading in the direction of a school and there were a few angry comments made'...


See, that's the problem with the suburbs.  We just don't get enough naked chicks strolling down the street.  And if we did, it would be like a 45-minute show because the Police Station is miles away from the Guitar Shop.  Wait, we don't have a Guitar Shop....Somebody open up a Guitar Shop dammit!