Get That Golf Cart Off My Ball!

Surprised it was a male driver....

Dumb As A Bag Of Hammers

I'm not sure what our criminal mastermind's best decision was here. Was it the decision to fight the cop or the decision to steal his car? Because normally, police officers look really favorably on these types of things. They appreciate a felon who tries every avenue of escape. They just love hand-to-hand combat and the thrill of the chase. I bet this dude got mad props and total respect once he was taken into custody.

Either that or they pounded his heels for hours on end so the beating wouldn't leave any bruises.

Yup, Stoli all day every day. I'm convinced that Russia is the single craziest nation on the planet. Not crazy bad, crazy like your best fucked-up friend. It starts with Putin and trickles down from there. He's bat-shit crazy so every comrade in the country figures it's okay to be just as crazy as their fearless, bare-chested, playboy, horse-ridin', missile-launching, macho, handsome leader. Okay, I'll stop now before things get too gay.

Best Car Crash Photos Ever?

So I guess there were 4 people in this car in South Africa and they were haulin' a huge bucket o' paint in the back seat.  No worries - I hear everyone was all-white (sorry).

Watch This Convenience Store Clerk Get Totally Biffed By A Car Crashing Into His Store

Don't you just love these vids? I mean the poor dude is just doin' his job, sweepin' the floor on a quiet night and the next thing you know he's gettin' a fanny full of fenders. Beautiful. Here's my guess, and I have absolutely no idea if it's true or not: It happened in Florida and there was an oldy oldster drivin' with her left blinker on for about 20 miles. Just a guess - I could be totally wrong....

Watch This Dude Just Miss Getting Killed By A Car

Some days you feel like there's a piano gonna be fallin' on your head any second as you walk down the street. Other days, you feel like everything you touch turns to gold. Most days, you're somewhere in between and just happy to be breathing. I wonder what the dude in the black suit was thinkin' right before that car came along. "I might have a shot at Pamela Anderson now that she's gettin' gross lookin'." "I hope my wife loses forty pounds." "Is Miley Cyrus old enough to fuck yet?" "My dick itches." "Cats are like dogs except they suck." "Did I just see a piano in the window?" "My dick itches." "Is sorbet really the same as sherbet?" "I'm glad I'm outside so no one will smell that fart." "My dick really itches." So many questions, so little time...

Nice Little Crash Caught On A Jewelry Store's Surveillance Camera

Wow, has there ever been a better time to rip off a jewelry store? Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Ding, ding, ding! This is that moment when all the stars align and the cosmos is telling you to get jiggy with it. Maybe the best diversion I've ever seen. Everyone is checking on the sales guy to make sure he's okay. All ya gotta do is turn your back to the camera and scoop up a couple of gi-normous rocks and tell people you're gonna wait outside for the ambulance to show up. Can you say "lottery?" But of course that would be the wrong thing to do. Pay attention kiddies!

Doctor Plows Through Liquor Store, Tries To Grab Beer

MyFoxBoston - A local doctor was charged with drunk driving after allegedly crashing his SUV through the windows of a Seekonk liquor store and then trying to steal beer. Dr. Joseph Grillo can be seen on surveillance footage plowing into Country Liquors early Wednesday morning. Grillo is then seen trying to reach inside to get a beer off of the counter. He is unable to reach it, so leaves the scene. The store manager thinks he crashed his car deliberately to steal beer. Grillo says he was trying to back up and accidentally went forward. Grillo was stopped by police, who had heard the crash. He was arrested and charged with driving under the influence.

The Doctor is In - well, partly in.  This is one thirsty dude, huh? Someone needs to tell ol' sawbones that we don't have drive-thru liquor stores here in Massachusetts.  Anyway, here's your prescription my good man: go directly to jail, do not pass "Go" and do not collect any brewskies! Bang. Pay attention!

Fung Wa Bus Drivers Must Go To Turkey After They're Fired

Eighteen people hurt, no one critically as far as I know. Pretty scary stuff cuz you're basically defenseless and at the mercy of the driver and the traffic. Pay attention all you commuter rail riders!

Think Quick

Gotta Love The Effort

"It's Got A Headlight!"