Future Male Cheerleaders Or Florists?

Father Of The Year Candidate Cooks Up Meth - Kids Are There To Watch And Learn

INTERLACHEN - An Interlachen man was arrested Monday on a charge of manufacturing methamphetamine, Putnam County deputies said. Deputies were called to 111 Jackson Terrace in Interlachen on a report of a suspicious man hiding in the back yard. Deputies said they met with a 27-year-old man who was found by the homeowner hiding in the bushes. The man told deputies he had been at 123 Jackson Terrace on Sunday night smoking methamphetamine, deputies said. He said a man named Danny and his brother, Adam, who both live at the home, were cooking methamphetamine, deputies said. The man also told deputies that two children were in the home while the drugs were being manufactured. Deputies went to 123 Jackson Terrace and met with the homeowner, Danny Grimm. They said Grimm had recently manufactured methamphetamine at the home, and while manufacturing the drugs, two children ages 8 and 13, were inside the home. Grimm, 36, was arrested and booked into the Putnam County Jail on charges of manufacture of methamphetamine, possession of listed chemicals, two counts of child abuse and possession of drug paraphernalia. His bail was set at $7,520. As a precaution, the children were taken to the Putnam Community Medical Center, deputies said. After being medically cleared, they were released into the custody of the Department of Children and Families, deputies said.

See, this is considered home schooling in Florida. You got a trade and you pass it on to the offspring. This way, you can enjoy a nice quiet retirement in your tailer, smoke crack and snort meth all day without having to worry about where the retirement income is comin' from. With a little hard work, planning and keepin' your nose to the grindstone, you too can secure your future and a better life for your kids. Now, there may be little detours like jail along the way, but that's the price of bein' a driven entrepreneur in the new economy. Small price to pay for insuring the future of generations to come. Capitalism, yes!

Father of the year? Future serial killers? Future father with kids taken into protective custody? Future children who will never speak to father again? Future children who track down father and sever his testicles? Future father who survives attack and drowns children in frozen lake? So many questions, so little time....

Stripper AND Mommy Of The Year?

Stripper Left Kids in Car to Hit the Pole

NBCMiami - A South Florida stripper displayed a disturbing amount of dedication to her job recently and has been arrested for leaving her kids in the car outside of a strip club so she could work. Corinthian Williams, 24, has been charged with four counts of child neglect for leaving the children - ages 1, 5, 6 and 9 - unattended in her car, the Sun-Sentinel reported. When police came to arrest Williams on Monday, she was holding her youngest daughter and reportedly told officers "take her. I don't wanna." Authorities believe the Riviera Beach woman made it a habit of leaving her children behind so she could shake her behind at area strip joints...

First of all, how could this chick possibly be making enough money stripping to support four kids? Unless she has the body of Brooklyn Decker (doubtful), there just ain't no way. Kids eat like motherfuckers. Their metabolism runs so high they eat more food than a bear gettin' ready to hibernate. I have a suggestion for our Mommy/Stripper of the year: Get a job at your local convenience store. I'm convinced you'll make more money, and if you play your cards right, you can swipe a few snacks from time to time and feed those hungry shorties like nobody's business. Bang. Pay the fuck attention!

Yup, It's Florida

Authorities: Mom sang karaoke while kids left home alone
LAND O'LAKES - A mother was arrested Tuesday after authorities said she left her 5- and 7-year-old sons home alone while she sang karaoke at a local bar. Mirya W. Royal, 36, of 2001 Brinson Road, is charged with child neglect and possession of marijuana. She remained in the Land O' Lakes Jail today with bail set at $1,150. Royal was seen singing at Whiskey Willy's Bar on Dale Mabry Highway just before 10 p.m. Tuesday, an arrest report states. A witness went to her home to check on the boys. The 7-year-old opened the door for the witness; the younger boy was wearing a diaper and sleeping in a bed with no sheets or blankets. Deputies found Royal at the bar and drove her home. She said she no longer could handle the boys and wanted them given to the state, according to the report. Investigators said they found 1 gram of marijuana in Royal's purse, along with a glass marijuana pipe and a grinder.

Okay, you got me. What's a "grinder?" Is that some kind of sandwich Mom was luggin' around?  And by the way, what tune was she singing?  How 'bout "I Like Karaoke, Booze And Weed More Than My Kids And Maybe Someday I'll Get Out Of Florida And Be The Next Lady Gaga?"  Great lyrics, and you can dance to it....

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Mother Of The Year?

CBSNews
Georgia Mom Checked Son, Friends Out of School to Rob Bank, Say Police
(CBS/WGCL) Three Georgia teenagers are facing armed robbery charges after the mother of one of the boys reportedly checked them out of school, allegedly so they could help her rob a bank. CBS affiliate WGCL reports that 35-year-old Tawander Simmons of Stone Mountain checked her son, 17-year-old Benny Brice and two other boys out of Stephenson High School on Friday morning. Police say the four then robbed a Wells Fargo in Lilburn, Ga., about 20 miles outside Atlanta. Simmons' neighbors were shocked when they learned that the bank robber they saw on the news was their neighbor. "I can't believe[it], wait until I tell [my wife] the neighbor robbed the bank. She don't know it's the neighbor either. When I saw it on the news I said, 'Why would she get her kid in trouble'," Leroy Anderson told the station. According to investigators, Simmons was armed with a gun when she approached a teller and demanded money. The bank's surveillance cameras snapped pictures of her, WGCL reported. Another picture shows two of the teens entering the bank. One had his hands in his pants as if he had a weapon. Police said the second teenager did have a gun. The trio then ran outside to an awaiting car and the remaining suspect, and were soon chased by Lilburn police. The alleged getaway vehicle crashed into a railroad track and police arrested Simmons, her son and 18-year-old Glenn Broom and 17-year-old David Rollins. All are charged with armed robbery.


Some kids will do anything to skip a test....

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