Lady Gaga Naked At The CDFA Fashion Awards

Wow, she is one fugly chick.  It's a good thing her music is so awesome.  Oh wait, that's right, her music SUCKS!  Can the fifteen minutes be over now?  Please?

Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake And Andy Samberg In A Saturday Night Live Instant Classic

...Just in case you missed it because you were out partying on Saturday night like all good Speakeasies, here's what will become one of the all-time classic SNL moments.  Not the biggest Gaga fan here, but the three of 'em knocked this one out of the park.  We're talkin' tape measure job.  My number one though is still Alec Baldwin with "Pete's Schweddy Balls."

Check Out Lady Gaga's Penis High Heels

Ow, ow and ow.  Irish willy is a little uncomfortable just lookin' at these things.  She's gotta use these puppies for both diddling and walking, right?  The question is, which two holes get the treatment?  I'm really hopin' she sticks at least one of 'em in her mouth because I think I've heard enough noise comin' outta that particular orifice to last me a lifetime.  Can't wait 'til her fifteen minutes are up, cuz I don't think she's gonna get scooped up in The Rapture on Saturday.

Lady Gaga Takes A Nosedive In Concert Again

The chick's a total spaz. Last week it was Houston, now this. Or maybe she's a marketing genius! Yeah, that's it. Fall down during your show every once in awhile, see the videos go viral on the interwebberbloggernets and keep your name in the public eye. Pure genius! It's subtle yet effective. Who gives a fuck if everyone thinks your music sucks and that you have the coordination of a newborn calf? You're rakin' in the cake and cashin' in at the ticket window. Brilliant!

Watch Lady Gaga Fall Flat On Her Ass During Her Live Show In Houston

Fekkin' klutz! Lady Spaz-spaz. I'm just not buyin' all the hype around this chick. Not very good lookin', no great songs, just a publicity-seeking Madonna clone. If you look past the shock factor, I'm not seein' much. Has-been in ten years. Mark it down - that's Bahtendah wisdom.

Lady Gaga's Condom Inspired Outfit On Good Morning America - Is It Just Me Or Am I Missing The Condom Part?

Okay, so I guess it's pink and it's latex.  Good start.  But where exactly is the condom part?  Like, am I crazy or shouldn't there be some kind of repository thingy on the top of her head?  I mean if you wear a leather belt is it "livestock inspired?"  If you wear a wool suit is it "lamb inspired?"  C'mon LG, we're not a nation that exactly embraces subtlety.  You wanna be a condom?  Try this:

Now we're talkin'!  Total condom look and feel to the wardrobe.  Take a little wisdom from me, the "Bahtendah Gaga."  You gotta be a little more obvious if you wanna drive home the point.  It's called gorilla marketing, girlfriend.  Smack 'em in the face and get the job done.  Pay attention!

Here's How Lady Gaga Rang In The New Year

Via Twitter