Friday, July 29, 2011
Skittles Porn Commercial
Man, I love me some Skittles. But what I really like is Sour Skittles. Problem is, you can't always find 'em. Regular Skittles are everywhere, Sour Skittles not so much. Anyway, as far as this little "commercial" goes, it should have been for toothpaste....
Are Fake Testicles Obscene?
Woman Faces Trial for Fake Testicles
ADULTFYI - The police chief of a small South Carolina town will ask a jury to decide if a woman broke the state's obscenity laws by driving a pickup truck with plastic testicles hanging from the back. Bonneau Police Chief Franco Fuda ticketed Virginia Tice, 65, in early July at a local convenience store after spying the adornment dangling from her truck. South Carolina law considers a bumper sticker, decal or device indecent when it describes, in an offensive way as determined by contemporary community standards, "sexual acts, excretory functions, or parts of the human body." The offense carries a maximum fine of $445 but no jail time, Fuda said. "This is certainly not a staple of my ticket writing in Bonneau," the police chief told Reuters on Wednesday. The Charleston law firm Savage & Savage will represent Tice for free, attorney Scott Bischoff said. The trial had been scheduled for next week but was delayed because the defendant will be out of town. "She's such a sweet lady and she just says 'I don't want to pay the fine.' We'll let a jury decide whether this is really criminal behavior. I don't want to take away from the importance of free speech, but it's really comical," he said. Lawmakers in some states have sought to ban the colorful plastic or rubber devices that go by brand names such as Bulls Balls and Truck Nutz. Fuda said if the fake testicles were a free speech issue, "I don't know what they would be trying to express." "I went to (a) few websites that said, excuse the expression, 'show your nuts,'" he said. "I didn't see anywhere it said support your local proctologist or farmer."
This case is so simple it's stupid. You can't be dangling balls off the back of your truck. Same thing for fake dicks, assholes and vaginas. Just can't do it. Those four body parts can't be paraded down the highway. Any other parts of the body and you're okay. Fake arms or legs? No problem. Fake bloody head? No sweat. But you gotta keep the private parts inside the truck. Bang. Done. Pay attention!
Here's A First - Pickpocket Uses Chopsticks
I just don't understand chopsticks. Never have. If you ride down a road in China, you can see farmers in the field using pitchforks to pile up hay. They use the pitchfork because it's the best tool for the job. But when it comes to dinner, they use 2 little sticks to pick up the food from their plate. What about that big fork you were just using in the field? Did you forget about that? Makes no sense whatsoever. Smarten up, China. Pay attention!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Outstanding Soccer Cheap Shot
Nice kick to the dome. If I know soccer, the dude that got kicked is probably still on the ground....
David Arquette's Ex-Slampiece Jasmine Waltz Washes The Chariot
So I guess this chick has a sextape? Might need to check that one out. Otherwise she seems to be the quintessential Hollywood fame whore. Sleep with a famous person, release a sextape and hope that you're the next star of reality TV. Waltz on by, Jasmine....
Russian Chicks Piss In The Elevator
More proof that Russians drink Stoli all day every day. I guess all that vodka has to go somewhere....
Skiing, Parachuting, Cliif-Jumping And Avoiding An Avalanche
Did I just see what I just saw? Cuz I think I did. These dudes are seriously about as crazy as anybody I've ever seen. Balls the size of churchbells. My only question though is that these guys started the avalanche, right? It looked like they kicked the snow and got the whole thing started, so why the big surprise that they jumped over it at the end? Impressive stuff anyway, boys.
Don't Hide In The Chimney
Bones May Have Been in Abbeville Chimney for 27 Years
A CHIMNEY - Bones found in May in the chimney of an old bank in Abbeville have been identified as a man who has been missing for 27 years. Abbeville police tell KATC-TV that the FACES Lab in Baton Rouge has identified the bones as those of Joseph W. Schexnider, who was 22 years old when his family last saw him in January 1984. At the time, the Abbeville resident was wanted for possessing a stolen car, and when Vermilion Parish sheriff's deputies went to his home to arrest him for failing to appear in court, his mother thought he had taken off to avoid arrest. She reportedly said she never reported him missing because she knew deputies were looking for him, and because he often left for long periods. Police say nothing suggests foul play. Authorities say it is unclear why he climbed down the chimney. It appears he died from dehydration and starvation.
Foul play isn't suspected? What about the fact that the guy was wanted for a stolen car? He was clearly a criminal and then his bones are found in the chimney of a bank? Hey police, here's a clue - He was robbin' the bank! Get it? Pay attention!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Can Teen Bride Courtney Stodden Really Be 16 Years Old?
I'm callin' bullshit on this one. This chick can't possibly be 16, can she? I mean if she is, she's the oldest looking 16-year-old I've ever seen. Looks like she's been around the block more than a few times, like she's closer to 26 than 16. If she really is 16, imagine the absolute mess she'll be when she hits, say, 30. Enjoy her while you can, Doug Hutchison.
Hugh Hefner's Lovemaking Prowess - 2 Seconds Of Ecstasy
Sex with Hugh Hefner lasted for 2 seconds: Crystal Harris
TIMES OF INDIA - Hugh Hefner's runaway bride is spilling the beans on why she ditched the Playboy mogul five days before their marriage. During an American radio show, Crystal Harris revealed about his prowess in the bed, claiming he never turned her on. She also claimed that sex with the 85-year-old lasted 'like two seconds' and was ultimately unsatisfying. "Then I was just over it. I was like, 'Ahhh.' I was over it. I just like, walked away. I'm not turned on by Hef, sorry," the Daily Telegraph quoted her as telling on the 'Howard Stern Show'. She also revealed they had only been intimate once, reports the Daily Mail. "He doesn't really take off his clothes. I've never seen Hef naked," she told the show. Hefner later responded on his official Twitter account, writing: "Crystal did a crazy interview with Howard Stern today that didn't have much to do with reality. Is she trying to impress a new boyfriend?" He also added that he felt sorry for his ex-fiancee because she "seems lost". Harris and Hefner announced their engagement in December 2010 but later called off their marriage just days before the ceremony was scheduled after Harris experienced a "change of heart".
You da man, Hef! Who cares if you're an old fart and she's a smokin' hot young babe - you get yours as fast as you can and walk away. You're Hugh Fucking Hefner. You don't even need to take your clothes off. You're Hugh Hefner. You've been bangin' Playmates since Playmates were invented. You're Hugh Hefner. You wanna go for 2 seconds, you go for 2 seconds. You're Hugh Hefner. You want 3 Playmates in bed, you get 3 Playmates in bed. Hugh Hefner does what Hugh Hefner wants. He's Hugh Hefner.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Here's Something You Don't See Every Day - An Inside-The-Park Grand Slam
Hey Carlos - ya fucked up, son....
Catherine Zeta Jones Shows Off The Bikini Body
Even though the pictures are fuzzy as shit, you can tell that CZJ has still got game. Not seein' the typical cottage cheese in the thighs and the boobies are still crushin' it. Call me.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Here's How You Open A Sporting Event
Amen, brother. Now I need to see the wife. Don't be lyin' to God, reverend.
Gus Is The Boss
Gus wants an indoor swimming pool. It's that simple. And Gus gets what Gus wants. Pool on the patio? Sorry folks, this baby's goin' inside where it belongs. Now fill it back up!
Bar Rafaeli Bikini Photos From Italy
I'd like to belly up to that Bar! I have no idea who Leonardo DiCaprio's new slampiece is, but I'm havin' a hard time believin' she beats this. World class ass right here.
Here's How New Yorkers Beat The Heat On The Subway
Stay classy, New York. Now I like ass as much if not more than the the next guy, but it's not exactly what I wanna see on the subway. That can needs to be wrapped up and it needs to be wrapped up yesterday. Pants up! Pay attention!
Alicia Keys Bikini Photos
And there ya have it. Thunder thighs. I seriously had no idea this chicks ass and legs were so fat. Put some shorts on! Pay attention!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)